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Feeling Overwhelmed? A Practice for Making Conscious Choices
How often do you feel overwhelmed by things you simply “have to do”? You feel that there is no choice and everything has somehow just piled up to become utterly unmanageable. If you know what we’re talking about, then here is a practice adapted from the teachings of Robert Gass just for you:
For the next three days be aware of each time you think, feel or say "I have
to…" or "I can’t.". For instance, you might hear yourself say:
Start observing yourself and listening for this language. Start watching your own patterns. Most of us, many times a week, feel like we “have to” do things that ultimately, really are a choice.
We forget that it is our choice, and walk around all too often feeling that we are being battered about by circumstances or other people.
When we operate from a position of "have to", we lose passion, we lose energy and power; we become a “victim” of our circumstances, of our boss, of our partner. You know the drill, I’m sure. We’ve all been there.
We must remember that we are free to make choices, and there are consequences to the choices we make, and those we refuse to make. Our life energy is ours to spend in whichever way we choose. We often give our freedom away, because we’re not willing to feel or face the responsibility for those choices… and that’s when we slip into blame or victimhood.
We don’t always have choice about the events that show up in our lives. It’s a big world and much as we might like, we don’t control it. Yet we always have some choice about how we respond to events.
So start making choices. Ask yourself: Do I have to do this or I am choosing to do this?
You may find this practice is difficult to do by yourself. If so, we suggest enlisting the support of a co-worker or partner. Ask them to point out each time they hear you say “I can’t”, or “I have to”. You could both do the practice and point out these speech patterns for each other.
So…for the next three days, be aware of each time you think, feel or say "I have to…" or "I can’t."
Practice for a few days and then ask yourself: Do I have more clarity? More energy? And then…..keep practicing.
- "I have to get this proposal done."
- "I have to clean the apartment."
- "I have to make this telephone call right now."
- "I can’t go for lunch.”
- "I have to go along with what the ED/Board Chair/boss wants me to do."
- "I can’t do what I really want to do."
Start observing yourself and listening for this language. Start watching your own patterns. Most of us, many times a week, feel like we “have to” do things that ultimately, really are a choice.
We forget that it is our choice, and walk around all too often feeling that we are being battered about by circumstances or other people.
When we operate from a position of "have to", we lose passion, we lose energy and power; we become a “victim” of our circumstances, of our boss, of our partner. You know the drill, I’m sure. We’ve all been there.
We must remember that we are free to make choices, and there are consequences to the choices we make, and those we refuse to make. Our life energy is ours to spend in whichever way we choose. We often give our freedom away, because we’re not willing to feel or face the responsibility for those choices… and that’s when we slip into blame or victimhood.
We don’t always have choice about the events that show up in our lives. It’s a big world and much as we might like, we don’t control it. Yet we always have some choice about how we respond to events.
So start making choices. Ask yourself: Do I have to do this or I am choosing to do this?
You may find this practice is difficult to do by yourself. If so, we suggest enlisting the support of a co-worker or partner. Ask them to point out each time they hear you say “I can’t”, or “I have to”. You could both do the practice and point out these speech patterns for each other.
So…for the next three days, be aware of each time you think, feel or say "I have to…" or "I can’t."
Practice for a few days and then ask yourself: Do I have more clarity? More energy? And then…..keep practicing.
With Julian Griggs