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But I Can’t Ask My Friends! - Getting Over The Fundraising Barrier
Most of us have been raised to solve our own problems and not trouble anyone else. Let’s be honest – when we’re raising money, we are asking for help. Here are a few ways of asking that might ease your mind.
By Andy Robinson
It comes up in every training that I do.
“How many of you," I ask the group, "would be uncomfortable asking friends and family to donate to your favorite group?”
Most of the people in the room – dozens and dozens of them – raise their hands.
“Why?”
“I don’t want to take advantage of them,” says one.
“I don’t want to be seen as mercenary,” responds another. “Friendship and money don’t mix.”
“They’re going to turn around and ask me to support their groups,” says a third, and everyone laughs appreciatively. “I can’t afford to say yes to everyone.”
“How many of you have done it anyway?” I ask.
Nearly every hand goes up.
“So has anyone ever lost or damaged a friendship because of a charitable request?”
The room goes quiet. We all look at each other, sitting on our hands.
I’ve asked this question of thousands of people. Perhaps one out of 50 will talk about a friendship gone sour due to miscommunication or inappropriate expectations. The other 49 of us sit silently, wondering why our fears are so disconnected from reality.
Most of us have been raised to solve our own problems and not trouble anyone else. Independence, we’ve been told, is the great modern virtue. Asking for help somehow implies we’re not clever enough or strong enough – it’s a sign of weakness. We fear it will obligate us to do something in return that we don’t really want to do.
Let’s be honest – when we’re raising money, we are asking for help. If we individually had enough money or energy or power to solve community problems alone, we’d probably just do it ourselves.
Unfortunately, big challenges such as poverty, disease, and injustice and global warming require big solutions. None of use can solve them individually. We need each other.
Let me suggest a way of asking that might ease your mind. “Maxine,” you say, “I’m involved with a great cause. We’re doing terrific work to improve our community and we need your help. If you could support us with a $500 donation, it would mean a great deal to me. If you choose not to participate, that’s OK – we’ll still be friends no matter what. But I sure hope you can help.”
In other words, when you ask, you give the person explicit permission to say no. There’s no pressure involved. Given your passion and the power of your cause, some will say yes. I promise you that they will be grateful for the opportunity to participate.
Andy Robinson is a respected fundraising consultant and trainer based in Plainfield, Vermont.
He is offering two fundraising workshops with Hollyhock Leadership in Vancouver:
Oct 3 "Get that Grant!" &
Oct 4 "The Nuts & Bolts of Fundraising"
Click here to Register
It comes up in every training that I do.
“How many of you," I ask the group, "would be uncomfortable asking friends and family to donate to your favorite group?”
Most of the people in the room – dozens and dozens of them – raise their hands.
“Why?”
“I don’t want to take advantage of them,” says one.
“I don’t want to be seen as mercenary,” responds another. “Friendship and money don’t mix.”
“They’re going to turn around and ask me to support their groups,” says a third, and everyone laughs appreciatively. “I can’t afford to say yes to everyone.”
“How many of you have done it anyway?” I ask.
Nearly every hand goes up.
“So has anyone ever lost or damaged a friendship because of a charitable request?”
The room goes quiet. We all look at each other, sitting on our hands.
I’ve asked this question of thousands of people. Perhaps one out of 50 will talk about a friendship gone sour due to miscommunication or inappropriate expectations. The other 49 of us sit silently, wondering why our fears are so disconnected from reality.
Most of us have been raised to solve our own problems and not trouble anyone else. Independence, we’ve been told, is the great modern virtue. Asking for help somehow implies we’re not clever enough or strong enough – it’s a sign of weakness. We fear it will obligate us to do something in return that we don’t really want to do.
Let’s be honest – when we’re raising money, we are asking for help. If we individually had enough money or energy or power to solve community problems alone, we’d probably just do it ourselves.
Unfortunately, big challenges such as poverty, disease, and injustice and global warming require big solutions. None of use can solve them individually. We need each other.
Let me suggest a way of asking that might ease your mind. “Maxine,” you say, “I’m involved with a great cause. We’re doing terrific work to improve our community and we need your help. If you could support us with a $500 donation, it would mean a great deal to me. If you choose not to participate, that’s OK – we’ll still be friends no matter what. But I sure hope you can help.”
In other words, when you ask, you give the person explicit permission to say no. There’s no pressure involved. Given your passion and the power of your cause, some will say yes. I promise you that they will be grateful for the opportunity to participate.
Andy Robinson is a respected fundraising consultant and trainer based in Plainfield, Vermont.
He is offering two fundraising workshops with Hollyhock Leadership in Vancouver:
Oct 3 "Get that Grant!" &
Oct 4 "The Nuts & Bolts of Fundraising"
Click here to Register
With Julian Griggs